It’s part of our human nature to strive for a happy ending. That said, this aspiration has a larger impact on our lives than we may give it credit. Let’s just say the restaurant that you go to on your birthday every year and claim to be your “favorite” may not actually be so.
It’s 7:00 pm. I’m sitting outside, enjoying the nice weather before the rain rolls in tomorrow. Hoping for a pretty sunset and having a think, as the Londoners often said. On my mind, is the concept of happy endings. Why am I so caught up in the idea of happily ever after? I am obsessed with thinking about my wedding day, my happy ending in love. I am obsessed with daydreaming about a girl boss career, my happy ending in work. And, I am even obsessed with watching family Youtube channels because they demonstrate my picture-perfect family dynamics (for the future, that is). But, in some sense, aren’t we all interested in happy endings? I mean, given that there is literally scientific research on the “happy ending effect,” I can only assume that I’m not alone here.
“‘Happy ending effect’: We tend to make decisions based on previous experiences that ended well, irrespective of how good the experiences were overall” (University of Cambridge). Basically, there are two parts of the brain that activate when making decisions influenced by past experiences (University of Cambridge). One part of the brain, the amygdala, reflects on experiences as a whole; another part, the anterior insula, registers, and almost emphasizes, the negative experiences throughout (Harrison 2020). Most of the articles I read reference a study with coins and gambling—something that my grandma understands much better than me. She could tell you that even when she loses five straight hands at the poker table but comes up with a win in the end, it’s a good night in her mind. You can bet she’ll be back next week. (To be honest, she rarely plays poker, mostly slots, but the example is too perfect to pass up.) Bottom line, the problem with the ‘happy ending effect’ lies in our decision-making.
When we’re constantly striving for that happy ending, we don’t always make decisions that further our interests. Sometimes I feel myself pushing so hard for a relationship to work out, waiting and waiting for that text back. The question is, do I really like that person? Do I truly enjoy spending time with them? Or, do I just want that happy ending? On a separate note, I often find myself skipping through scenes in my current binge-watch, Private Practice, when I am uncertain of the outcome of a case. The question here is, do I really want to spoil the ending? Or, do I just want that happy ending confirmed? As you can see, for me, the ‘happy ending effect’ shows up in a variety of ways. Because I fear this aspiration may lead me astray, I am first learning about it, and second, reminding myself to be aware of it.
All things considered, here’s this week’s tip from the kitchen: be more aware of your subconscious motives, specifically those regarding ‘the happy ending effect.’ If you want to dig deeper into this phenomenon, check out this article. It definitely explains it better than I do. But, at least think about how this effect may show up in your own life. Do you really like that restaurant? Or, was the dessert just icing on the cake? And, what about that boy? That TV show? Let me know in the comments.
Written August 12, 2023
Comments